7 Secrets Of Online Dating
Understanding the Unwritten Rules
Over 40 million singles are now using, or have used, an Online Dating service according to a recent
survey.That's a mighty huge business we're talking about here, and that has started a whole new era
of dating with its own rules.
We all know the rules about how to stay safe on the Internet. We've been told a thousand times NOT
to give out our personal information and not to trust everybody.We already know those things. But do
you know the unwritten rules? There really are some.And it is THESE rules you need to know, written
or not! Here's your first key towards Online Dating success.
Keep your expectations low. As nutty as this can sound, it's better to be pleasantly surprised rather
than bitterly disappointed.96% of people who participate in Online Dating don't find a compatible
match, and this statistic will stand true even in time to come. There's a reason for that.
That 96% usually give up after one or two dates that don't turn out to be the love of their life. You must
be persistent. "If at first, you don't succeed, try try again." And keep on trying until you find the right
one. He or she is out there somewhere but it takes searching, screening and lots of dates to find him
Don't Hurry to Respond an Email
This is yet another nutty thing as it sounds. I know... I know... most experts will tell you to respond
right away but you really don't want to do that. Take your time. Compose a response that is thoughtful
and appropriate. Don't answer on holidays or weekends, either. Why? It makes you appear too eager
or too desperate.
"When in Doubt, Tell the Truth"
Or so quoted by Mark. This serves as more than good advice in Online Dating. When you write your
profile, there really isn't any point in shaving years off your age, underestimating your weight or over
estimating your height. So, don't even try it. Be yourself. Once you meet in person all of those lies will
be revealed and you will lose the "trust factor" and probably put an end to any hope of making the
relationship a long term one with a "happily ever after" scene.
Choosing an Online Dating Service
Choosing the right service or services for your self can be very tricky. You need to be sure you know
exactly what you want. The high profile services provide a lot of bells and whistles like instant video
messaging and then there are specialized services for Christians (or gays) or specific ethnic groups.
The service you choose will depend upon what is important to you. There are hundreds of Online
Dating sites. It can leave your head spinning just thinking about it. The bottom line of choosing a
service is what is important to YOU. The larger and higher profile sites have more features but are
mainly geared to dating personals in general. They have international memberships so if you are
looking for someone in your immediate area, you could have a problem.
On the other hand, if you live on top of a hill a half block from the middle of nowhere like I do, you
might find that some driving or even flying can't be ruled out in your quest for friends or lovers. The
whole point of the Internet is to erase borders and expand our horizons, isn't it?
The truth is that if the opposite sex in your area/state/ country won't give you the time of day, in
another area/state/country you might be described as a babe or a hunk. It all depends on the point of
view and we don't all see things or people the same way. Perhaps you are looking for friends or more
than friends that fit into a specific niche.
This is big business. You can find dating services that cater to every fetish you can think of, all
ethnicities and even religion. There's no reason you can't find an Online Dating service that can help
you to find the one person on earth that is the one for you.
They are looking for you, too. Right here on the Internet!
The Right Online Dating Service for You
The options for Online Dating sites can be confusing, to say the very least. There are so many to
choose from and there is more every day. So choosing wisely is the all-important first step to a
successful Online Dating experience.
The price varies widely between sites determined mostly by the extras they offer. So first determine
how much money you want to commit. Do you want a free trial before you buy? How long should that
free trial be? Do you want a money back guarantee? Only you can decide these things.
How much information do you want to provide and how much information do you think you need to
determine whether another person is someone you would like to know? Some sites want detailed
profiles. Others do not. It's your call.
This is offered on some sites now. They use physiological profiles to match people with others that
seem compatible. Would that be a useful tool for you?
While this feature varies for different sites, Some sites do background checks and determine such
things as marital status and criminal history. Is that something that you feel is important?
Chat Rooms/Instant Messaging
This feature is common on several sites related to the dating niche. Would you pay extra for this or
would you rather stick to email?
Outside events such as speed dating is offered on some sites. Would you be at all interested in
attending such events?
Search Capacity varies widely between Online Dating sites. Some are limited to age; sex and
geographical location while others have a virtual laundry list of requirements you can search for.
So you see, what a site offers is of the utmost importance for you to decide which one is right for you.
Do your homework, choose which site's the best for you, and then get busy - looking for your love
partner, of course!
Ask the Right Questions
You can find the man or woman of your dreams with Online Dating. Since it started, Online Dating has
brought people together who would never have met any other way. You can make your Online Dating
experiences better by starting them right.
When you begin an online friendship that you are hoping in your heart will turn into a romantic
relationship, there are some questions you should ask right away. The answers you get can tell you
whether to proceed with the relationship or head for the nearest exit.
The Most Important Questions Answered
First you need to ask in as diplomatic way as possible, "What is the biggest mistake that people
make when dating online for the first time?"
The answer you get can reveal a lot about the person. Like their attitudes on the opposite sex and
what kind of issues are vitally important to them in their other relationships.
The next question that you need an answer to is, "What qualities in a guy/girl do you think are
important for a successful relationship?"
If the person tries to pass this off as a joke or doesn't have an answer, it probably means they really
haven't thought about it and are not looking for a serious relationship. In this case, you will do well run
the other direction!
And last but certainly not least, you should find out what happened to end the person's last
relationship. If they tell you it was all the other person's fault or take all of the responsibility for the
breakup themselves, that is not a good sign. The answer you really want is that they just grew part or
mutually consented to the break-up.
Remember that Online Dating is more of a process than instant results, even though the Internet is
often associated with convenience and speed. Also remember that the object of emails, chats and
phone calls are to get to know the other person.
You want to know what kind of person he or she is before you actually meet them in person. So ask
questions and answer questions the best you can.
Important! In as simple as this secret may sound, MOST singles DON'T really think much about these
important questions that they themselves and their partners do not often answer or even reflect on. It's
like spelling otherwise than Online Dating success!
Use Friends to Help You
Now, this is something most singles often refrain from when it comes to securing a greater
relationship that requires greater understanding and acceptance. For odd reasons, I don't know why.
But don't go without putting this secret into practice!
Out Here in the Real World...
...We always ask our friends for introductions to eligible people and for their opinions about people we
are dating, don't we? Of course, we do.
The Internet is just an extension of the real world so your friends can help you there and you can help
them. If you have joined, or are considering joining, an Online Dating service, ask a friend or two (or
even three) to join you.
You will double or triple your chances of meeting the right pair for you. That's very possible, because
the next time you talk to your friends, instead of asking them if they would like to join you at a movie,
ask if they would like to join you on an Online Dating site.
Chances are, they've been thinking about doing just that and it will help both of you to find true love or,
at the very least, some interesting new friends.
How Can this Help?
Firstly, it doubles your chances of meeting someone. Your friend can recommend someone to you
and you can do the same for him or her. Two sets of eyes are better than one.
Another way it can help is that you can arrange a chat room date with your friend as well as
prospective dates. Chatting is always easier in a group where you really know at least one person.
If you both meet someone, you can arrange to double date on your first off-line meeting. The old
saying, "There's safety in numbers." is true.
Important! Most singles seek a second opinion before dating someone so if you are both members of
the same site, you can get that second opinion easily.
Call your friends today and get going on finding that special someone. You can do it!
Your Profile is Your Asset
Once you have chosen an Online Dating service, you will be required to write a profile. Writing your
profile is usually one of the first things you do. It's also one of the most crucial factors to your Online
Dating success - you either land on a date, or stay single.
Important! The most important thing to remember is that "Honesty is the best policy" because it IS the
The object is to find someone who will really like (and maybe eventually love) the real you. It's hard to
write the truth about yourself and not what you hope others think of you but you must try. You need to
be honest with yourself and honest about yourself. It's the first step in meeting that special someone.
THE "someone" who will love you, quirks, imperfections and all but you don't need to sell yourself
Analyzing your Past Relationships
Really think about the things that were right and the things that were wrong. For instance, if you really
hated that the last person you had a relationship with smoked in the house or used bad language, say
Just because you are lonely or your subscription is about to run out is absolutely no reason to
compromise. If you hated those things before, you will continue to hate them.
Be sure to include in your profile the life style that is important to YOU. If you are a couch potato, you
will not be compatible with an outdoor enthusiast or vice versa.
If you love music and theater, you will not be happy with someone who is tone deaf or hates plays and
movies. Remember, don't compromise!
If a physical attribute is important to you, say so and be honest about your own physical appearance.
For instance: If you are a guy who is 5'8" and you are not comfortable being seen with a girl who is 6'
something or a girl who is 6' something and not comfortable being seen with a guy who is 5' 8", you
need to say that.
Avoid These Profile Disasters!
I have seen enough profiles to be able to tell you at least three things that are certain to cause you to
fail miserably this endeavor.
Out of the thousands of profiles I have read, there were, maybe, 5 that caught my attention, 100 that
were acceptable and the rest were awful. Think about this: your profile and picture are the two things
that will cause another person to contact you and, of the two, the profile is the most important.
So you need to spend some time and give some thought to writing it.
The First and Biggest Mistake...
... I've seen made are statements like, "I'm the guy/girl your daddy would want to shoot on sight."
Uh-uh. Big mistake... VERY big mistake.
It or statements like this that are over used and over rated. Your profile needs to stand out not sound
like a million others. Go read the profiles of others and avoid words and phrases that are used too
And another Dumb Profile Mistake
The next one that I really hate is, "I could be the one you are looking for." Well, duh! Maybe you are,
maybe you aren't. Maybe he/she isn't the one YOU are looking for. If you've written that down... back
Tell people what really makes you happy and makes your heart beat a little faster. Tell them the
things that you are passionate about.
Tell the FACT that let them know you are an interesting, well-rounded fun person and one that they
will want to know.
Spelling and Grammar Counts!
The misuses of words or spelling mistakes make you sound... well... dumb. There is no other word for
Tip: MS Office has a spell check and will check grammar. If you don't have that, at least get someone
who knows to read it over and correct your mistakes before you post it.
Keep the Relationship on Slow Pace
Online Dating can be fun... even exciting. It can open new and interesting relationships for you. Who
knows? You might even find the love of your life online. Why not? You can find everything else.
However, you do need to follow some simple guidelines to make your Online Dating experiences not
only fun but safe, as well.
The world is full of nice people but there are a few bad apples so you will need to protect yourself. If
you haven't yet tried Online Dating, here are a few things to consider.
The first thing is to start slow. Use only reputable Online Dating services. Trust your instincts about
prospective dates. Remember the old saying, "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Warning! Be very careful not to give out too much personal information to strangers. Never give your
real name, address or phone number. Do not reveal where you work. Get a free email account like
Hotmail or Yahoo! and do not give your "real" email address until you know a person well.
Use good common sense and due diligence about trusting people. We all want to trust and to be
open. But it's not a good idea to do that until you are well acquainted with a person you have never
Tip: Don't limit your contact to just online chats. Talk on the telephone after you are comfortable giving
your phone number. Ask for a picture, too, preferably a recent photo.
Don't be pressured into a face-to-face meeting until you are comfortable with it and then make the first
meeting in a public place. Arrange with a friend to call you during your first meeting to be sure you are
Online Dating can be not only fun but rewarding. It does have pitfalls so just use your common sense
and stay safe.
Something Else You Should Know
Even as you start slow, you should keep the relationship on a pace you are comfortable with. Don't
It's also important NOT to reveal EVERYTHING about yourself in too short a time span. While
protecting yourself is partially the reason, the other good reason is that you don't want to "spoil the
suspense too soon" or "burst the bubble" like some would like to quote.
For example, if:
* You are an avid tennis player,
* You love to play the guitar,
* You like reading science fiction,
* You admire some celebrities, and so on,
It is best NOT to reveal all these to your chosen partner too soon. Dispense your personal information
bit by bit, progressive by time, in as much interesting a person you can be.
This is often the weakness of interesting people - they tell everything about themselves so much so
it's difficult for their partner to digest.
While it is perfectly understandable one would love to share his or her interests with his new found
partner across the line, the consequence is often bad when he or she runs of out interesting things to
Call it a way to quickly kill the future conversations and reasons to meet the other person online, if
you want to, but given the several reasons, it is ideal if you reveal your personal information and
interest on a progressive manner, in the name of personal safety or not.
Minimize Your Risk Factors
As you probably accept by now, Online Dating is an efficient and fun way to meet new and interesting
people. However, Online Dating can be risky business and you need to protect yourself.
Most people you meet on line are exactly who they say they are but there are the perverts and sexual
predators so you should use some good judgment while getting to know the stranger you have just
Risk Management #1:
Don't Give Out Any Personal Information until You Have Gotten to Know the Person.
Never give your real name, address or phone number until you are sure the person you are talking to
is who they say they are. Perverts, sexual predators and just plain garden variety weirdoes come in
both sexes, all ages and in all shapes and sizes.
It's truly better to be safe than sorry.
Risk Management #2:
Take Your Time Getting to Know the Other Person.
You will see a picture sooner or later of him or her. Don't be fooled by outward appearances. The real
person is the one you need to get to know.
Honest and faithful are qualities that will last but beautiful and handsome will fade with time. You don't
have to spend 24/7 with a person to find out who they are. You do need to listen to what he or she is
Once you think you know this person well enough to exchange personal information, don't stop there.
The Internet is a wonderful place where you can learn just about anything and everything about
anybody and in just a few minutes.
Risk Management #3:
Do your Homework!
Check them out. There is an old saying among journalists. "Your mother says she loves you but
check it out." That is good advice for Online Dating and for "real world" dating too. Don't take
everything the other person tells you at face value.
By: Chris Anson
Online dating sites present a virtual medium. Without having to interact face to face, it
is far easier for them to express what may be going inside their mind. These online
dating sites offer a wide variety of matches spread across the stratum...But you must
think a little before choosing the perfect online dating site. Let's check out a few tips
for getting the best out of a dating site. read more>>>
The one thing to remember is that women on dating websites, as opposed to men,
get lots of messages from admirers. Many men are successful with this and regularly
get dates. The tips above can help you be more effective on the Internet. Use them,
and happy dating. read more>>>
While chatting, observe how a person behaves. If he is trying to avoid chat games and
insisting you to get into a private mode of chatting, the person can be suspicious. If
the person is interested in you, he or she will be very excited to share with you such
amazing chat games. Let you two be friends and then only consider a further
relationship. read more>>>
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