Online Dating Tutorial

Internet dating is truly an amazing phenomenon. At the present time, Internet dating sites in the
U.S. are getting over 60 millionunique visitors a month. There are now many hundreds of dating sites
on the Web. Why such tremendous growth in this business? Simply because it's an easy, efficient
way to meet members of the opposite sex. Anyway, it certainly has to beat the old-style singles
services, bar scenes, etc.

However, before you get too involved in Internet dating – a world of its own – take ten minutes to
read this article. I have a few suggestions for you that may save you a lot of frustration. I also have
some important warnings to keep you out of trouble.

There are now two major types of online dating sites, the so-called megasites, like
AmericanSingles.com, Match.com, and eHarmony.com, and then there are the specialized sites.

These megasites cater to everybody, old, young, and in-between, nationwide, and have hundreds of
thousands of members. The specialized sites, on the other hand, focus on narrower niche markets –
like Jewish singles, Christian singles, black singles, thirty-plus singles, senior singles, etc. It's
really just a matter of preference whether to join the huge megasites or a small niche site, or both.
One thing they all have in common is that they will charge you a membership fee – soon after your
“free” sign-up.

You may already know how these sites all work. To get started, you complete a profile (some call it
an “essay” but please don't write an essay) about yourself and your interests, etc., and then you
upload your absurdly-flattering photo of yourself. Then you wait for some fish to bite the hook, or
else you can play the role of the fish yourself and send emails to members you pick who you think
look and sound interesting.

The sites usually let you “search” for members who meet your specifications regarding education,
age, location, religion, and other factors.

Women dominate the online dating game. Reportedly, women who send out emails to men get
upwards of 96% responses. Men who email women get only about 20% responses. Even so, it's
important to realize that cyberspace can be much more dangerous territory for women than for men.
First, men tend to lie more than women, particularly about their marital status. A man may
completely misrepresent himself on a dating site, even to the point of uploading a picture of
somebody else. Women rarely do that sort of thing. (Women do, however, tend to post pictures of
their younger thinner selves, which is much more forgivable.) A man may oftentimes describe
himself simply in terms he thinks women want to hear – lying about his education, profession, age,
the works, even about the fact he has three kids who are teenagers.

Why do men do this when, very likely, the truth will sooner or later be found out? The answer is,
many men who use dating sites are not necessarily looking for long-term relationships.

But the biggest danger to a woman is to get involved with a man who's unbalanced, unhinged, or
even violent, and yes, there are some of those out there, too. Thus, ladies, it's quite important to
avoid giving men you correspond with through dating sites any information which will enable them to
identify you until you are sure who you're dealing with. Though you may not be aware of it, you can
now be identified via the Internet very quickly by someone who knows very little about you – maybe
as little as your first and last names. And you can certainly be identified by your telephone number.

Conversely, it is also very important that you always insist that the man does identify himself. He
should not resist giving you his full name and address. If he does resist, something is probably
wrong – like he's already married. Once you have his name and address you can run a quick online
background check on him for only about $50, using a service like Intelius. This will include a criminal
records search and also give you some idea of his economic status because it will tell you if he
owns a house and if so what its value is.

Unfortunately, it probably won't tell you if he's divorced or married, or if it does, its coverage will be
limited to only be a few major states, like Texas or Florida that make this type of information
available through databases.

However, if you haven't done so already, you can download our free ebook, Marriage & Divorce
Records, USA (MarriageDivorceUSA.com). It provides URL's and government phone numbers for
nearly all counties and states in the USA. Using it, you can check his marital status out reasonably
thoroughly (though never with 100% certainty, since someone can get married or divorced anywhere).

Assuming you meet someone online you find interesting, you'll probably agree to a date. Always
make it in a public place where there are other people around. A cocktail lounge is good, or a
restaurant. (Not a bagel shop early in the morning, please. I often sit next to online daters at 8:30
A.M. in the bagel shop I go to, and I hate it. Pick somewhere there's reasonable privacy.)

I used to wonder why dating sites almost never offer their members background checks. So I called
up a couple and asked. They both said the same thing, because they're afraid it would “alarm” their
members. They're afraid of giving the impression that there's something to fear from online dating. Of
course, from a woman's standpoint especially, there really is something to fear. What if the person
you're agreeing to meet and possibly enter into a relationship with is a convicted felon? So, again, I
recommend you seriously consider doing an online background check before the first date. (Our first
report in our Web Search Guides series covers the topic of online background checks in detail.)

Online Dating Suggestions

- Men need to be very careful when they email women on dating sites. Why? Because they may
inadvertently enter into a conversation with a minor, even to the point of arranging a date, and this
can result in very serious consequences you don't even want to think about.

- From a woman's standpoint, the big question inevitably is, Is he telling me the truth? Especially
regarding his marital status. Here are a few indications he's married: he fails to provide a photo (so
his wife or one of her friends won't spot it online); he won't provide a home address or phone number,
or only his cell number; he is never available on weekends or Saturday night, only during the
business day. But although a man you're exchanging emails with should not hesitate to provide
some personal information to you, you should never give out your full name, address or phone
number until you're certain he's on the level.

- For a lot more tips on safe online dating, visit saferdating.com

- Did you know that most online dating sites allow you to block emails from people you find
obnoxious? Visit haltabuse.org for help in dealing with someone who harrasses you. If you've got a
really serious situation, try cyberlawenforcement.org.

- You should recognize that it's easy to lift somebody's photo from a dating site. So the photo you
submit could conceivably turn up anywhere. It's pretty unlikely anyone will lift it; but even so, it's not
impossible.

- Almost 85% of women embellish the photos they use online, so, men, don't be too amazed if she
doesn't look like you expect. Be decent.

- Seven out of ten online dating participants are men. But unfortunately, a large percentage of these
are married and are simply looking for affairs or maybe cybersex. On the other hand a significant
proportion of the women online are not looking for relationships, either. They're running Internet
scams, trying to extract money from lonely men. For both men and women an excellent rule for
online dating is: Never send money to anybody unless you're buying something.

- Most of the major online dating sites allow you to easily check out someone's search activity by
viewing their profile. You can also check to see exactly who has looked at your profile.

Experts agree on the following guidelines when you're doing Internet dating: (1) Be very cautious
about people who start telling you their problems right away; (2) Watch out for minors who are
posing as adults; (3) Never give out information about your personal finances – like how much
money you make, whether you own a home, etc.; (4) Never give your home address/phone number
out right away and don't have the other person meet you for a first date at your home; (5) Don't send
anyone money: (6) Don't take rejections personally – just move on. And if you need to reject
someone yourself, do it tactfully (“I've decided to get back with my boyfriend,” etc.); (7) Try to find
out all you can about someone before agreeing to a first date; the Internet can help.

By: Joseph J Ryan

Article Directory: http://www.articledashboard.com

Joseph Ryan is Director of Washington Research Associates, Inc., Washington DC. The firm's
website, Web Search Guides (www.websearchguides.com), provides helpful 10-minute tutorials on
topics of current interest, such as home refinancing, asset-searching, people searching, student
financing, and many others.