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Who Knows Why The Stranger Is Winking?!
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On many dating sites, including our own, there is every possibility to show interest in a person
whom you find attractive. It's possible "to wink", to send a virtual postcard, to "surprise", to greet him or her with an icebreaker or to add him or her to your friends' list or your 'favorites' folder, about which the person will be immediately informed. Even a language barrier is not a hindrance. People regard this kind of advances differently. A lot of them take it quite sceptically considering all this stuff a sign of idle indifference. Some of them would |
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even state it in their forms that they "do not answer winking". They are convinced that it is possible to express interest
only by writing a long personal letter. However, is it true? Now imagine not virtual, but a real situation. How would you feel if a stranger suddenly stopped you in the middle of the street or in a bus and like mad started to tell you about his life and his work? I expect you would be totally confused or bewildered making fruitless attempts to recall where and when you had met this person before. Fortunately, people rarely behave in such a manner. Do you recollect how random encounters, which can sometimes determine your entire life, usually occur? Trying to display his consideration, a person will give special signals through gestures, facial expressions or looks. If you have no desire to encourage him or her, you can simply let these signals "go unnoticed" or, if you do find the person interesting and handsome, answer him or her properly. In fact, by giving such a response you let your communication go ahead suggesting some prospects for a dialogue, forming an acquaintance or even something more meaningful. However, there is no special need to expect the initiative from the others as you can send suchlike signals by yourself, which neither binds you to anything, nor contradicts any ethical standards. Now, let's return to making virtual acquaintances. Although, divided by thousands of miles we cannot demonstrate our interest with facial expressions or gestures, we are able to send an electronic "wink", a virtual postcard or 'surprise' or include the person into our friends' list and add him or her into the "favorites' folder. Moreover, you can as well send him or her a personal page link. Thus, these advances become not only expressions of sympathy and interest but an invitation to look at the photographs and to read the profile. If you receive a little virtual signal of affection, do not take exception to the person for being too lazy to write a letter. All the things he or she wanted the people to know about him or her are already in the profile, but yet the person is not sure if you are the one to get to know something more personal. You should be glad that among the thousands of other girls and men the person paid attention to you in particular. Visit his or her page. If you find the person attractive, you can begin a dialogue and learn more about each other. Otherwise, if he or she is not your prince charming or "lady green sleeves", you should just thank him or her politely for showing consideration in you. Using virtual signs of attention has one more advantage specifically concerning with international relationships. Girls from Russia and other countries of Eastern Europe sometimes feel embarrassed about being the first person to show initiative in making contact, regarding this as a sign of being accessible and too easy. According to the traditions, they should await for the man to show initiative. However, in some Western countries a display of initiative from the man's side can be interpreted as tactlessness and even sexual advance. As a result both girls and men fall into a state of passive expectation, feeling uneasy about making the first step in acquaintance and writing the letter to a person they like. The 'winks' that engage in no liabilities, 'surprises' and other small virtual signals of attention and affection help to overcome this barrier and display one's sympathy for a stranger. Don't be shy to send a "wink" while exploring the members' files. You can easily send small messages to everyone who arouses your interest. It costs nothing to you, but the receivers will be pleased with it. You also should not get upset if some of your winks get no response. After all, all these actions of yours just help to charge the site with positive energy, which will undoubtedly return to you. Irina Grebneva Director of the agency |
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